friends are people who still make time to hang out with you, even after not talking to you or communicating with you for 4 months. and still get along with you like old times.
friends are people who still feel comfortable enough to spill out everything they've been stressed out about without hesitation
friends are people who come out just to see you, even if its only for half an hour
i feel good, knowing that i have friends like these.
thanks for making time for me, despite the fact that i only had a few days here, and making them enjoyable.
it gives me security, knowing that i have all of you here. ties that still hold me here and give me a reason to look forward to coming back.
"Don't change too much." Amanda told me as she hugged me good-bye.
I considered it for a second, and then dismissed it. I couldn't tell her then. I would wait until she realized it herself.
Change is inevitable for everyone. Its a matter of if we still like each other after we change that determines everything. Instead, I gave them all a last wave good bye, and a "I'll see you in spring!" as I pulled out of the parking lot and sped home.
I switched on the clicker as we reached the last intersection before her street.
"You know, I really needed this."
I nodded. "I really needed this too."
My dad scooped the rest of the filet mignon cubes out of the skillet and set the plate on the table. It was only my second or third dinner eating at home since I've come back, and already I'd fallen back into routine. I set the table, my mom dipped some crab into the melted butter as she watched a rerun of some B movie. My dad giving me some "life advice", my mom chipping in, my sister looking bored yet slightly interested, me nodding my head in understanding. I felt as if I was still living with them, and not living thousands of miles away. We all pitched in, washing the dishes, the table.
It was the household daily monotonous regimen, just switch up what was being served that day, repetitive, normal.
I forgot just how much I missed it.
i feel like i've been kicked into high gear.
i've been rushing around all day, trying to squeeze errands in wherever i can.
but at the end of today,
i feel wonderful :D
i only have like 4 more days until i go back.
i haven't hung out like with any of my friends, like hang out hang out, just saw rachel and erilyn before i left for cabo.
damn.
time passed by so fast :(
all i can do though is haul ass, get all the shit i need to get done and conjure up some time to hang out with the people i want to, no, HAVE to see before i leave.
i have this urgency, i guess its kinda tinted with desperation, but i really really need to see them before i go.
i'll have to suffer through another 4 months without them being near.
i feel like if i don't...i don't know.
i just have to see them.
i loved being able to see some of my favorite people today.
and be myself with them, and laugh with them, and talk with them,
all face to face and not over the phone.
it was nice, really nice.
i cannot wait until i go home.
i feel like packing all my things now and taking the next available flight home.
but i guess i'll just have to wait until thursday.
i really miss all of you.
and good news is
i actually have about a week at home, not the few days i though i only had before my cabo trip.
friends, family, food, cheap, sun
i can't wait.
there have been many times in life when i don't know when i have a good thing.
today is one of them.
i have been humbled.
thank you.
its shocking how little I know myself.
damn. i am in such a bad mood.
i don't feel like studying AT ALL! i mean, yah, most people don't want to, but usually i can just whatever and take the bull by the horns.
but today, am trying to do everything and find every single little excuse not to study.
i don't feel like talking to anyone
i don't feel like leaving my room
all i feel like doing is eating and sleeping.
but i can't eat because i ate already.
and i had way too much sleep already.
the fact that my comp is still kinda not working like it used to is pissing me off.
and
ugh.
i feel like shit.
then again, i'm expecting my period to arrive soon.
maybe thats it.
well whatever is causing this
FK YOU!
the only thing that is slightly lightening my mood is listening to music.
i love you music.
fk you period and crazy uncontrollable hormones,
you're making me into a pissy bitch >:(
girl on the fourth floor, your a fkn bitch.
its not like i left the door open, so the washer shouldn't fkn bother you. and btw, not everyone on your floor was asleep, half of them probably can't hear the washer running because they're asleep you fktard.
next time i see you, omg, i don't know, i'll send you the alex glare.
damn, that made me so angry >:(
i feel different. very different, since like yesterday. i don't know what happened or how.
but i feel as if i've woken up from a deep sleep. opened my eyes after a 6 month long coma. shifted the blankets off of me to the sun shining through the window.
after about 4 months, i'm starting to feel like i'm home.
and thinking about my trip back to the states, it feels like i'm visiting my parents and my sister, not going home.
i found a chinese temple in downtown. i'm going to go there at least before i leave for the states.
i really need some spiritual renewal.
i need to finish christmas shopping, wrapping, getting cards, writing letters, sending packages.
i need to pack for toronto and going back home.
i need to call my friends.
now that i'm coming back to the states, and finding out that my parents are taking me and my sister to cabo san lucas for like 6 days, it means that i only have a few days at home to do what i want to do. which means the time i have with my friends is pretty limited.
but that just means that i have to make the best out of the time given to me, and that means that i'm only going to hang out with the friends who really matter to me.
sorry for the rest of you, i really do want to hang out, but only if had more time.
so you know who you are,
we have a date when i get back :D
