i've only got a week and 2 days left of lecture. and then after that will be hardcore final studying time. and then i'm home free :D
after all the commotion, i'm going to move down to the second floor and room with one of the last real friend i have who isn't leaving after the semester is over. i hope everything works out with her so that way we can get an apartment in ste anne next year.
i finally got my credit card and my phone. thank fkn god.
i'm counting down the days until i go back to the states.
when i come back up i'm going to bring up my skis :D
and hopefully valerie is able to bring her guitar over so i can buy it from her :D:D
its time for another couple of weeks of
HELL!
studying studying studying, writing lab reports, studying studying studying, cramming cramming cramming
and no time for me to exercise :(
despite the fact that i am really starting to miss home and the people at home, and at times, getting just a little envious of all the fun it seems like they're having, i'm glad i'm here.
i'm glad i didn't stay in chino hills, or within a 50 mile radius of chino hills for that matter. i'm glad i went so far away from home. otherwise i wouldn't have been able to get out and meet so many people from so many very different places. i wouldn't have been able to get out of the "small town chino hills" mindset i was raised in. i wouldn't have been able to gain as much perspective as i have here versus going to like ucsd. i wouldn't have been able to do the things i've done, the fun stuff and the shit stuff.
i'm not happy with where i am. i'm always wanting, striving for something more, better, different. i have dreams, ambitions, and i'm going after them, chasing them, catching them, taming them, keeping them and never letting go.
i'm glad. i'm glad that i'll be here and not stuck in the small sphere between downtown LA and Chino Hills. i have so many places i'll still be going to, places i'll be traveling to, places i'll be exploring, places i'll experience.
i want to travel the world, taste all that the fruit of life has to offer.
i stil l have a lot i still need to do, but
i think this is pretty good for a start :D
in order for me to get a credit card, i have to send in some documents, and i wasn't notified until last week. so after going down to my bank to submit it, and told that it would be faxed right away and that i would recieve my card by the end of the week, i didn't. so i called today to check and see whats going on. and apparently they didn't recieve the document which is the only thing keeping my credit card from being sent out to me.
sooo i call my bank and apparently they sent it to the wrong department those dumbasses, so they sent it again today to the right one. of course, i can't trust them, so i call the credit card company to make sure, bitch and complain and hopefully get it rush ordered to me. so i get this really arrogant sounding man who couldn't really give a shit, and i complained to him and asked him to get it rush ordered. but it would cost an extra $25. and you know what this bitch tells me? he tells me that the credit card is a privilege and that basically they don't have to give me the credit card.
are you fucking kidding me??! its not like i have bad credit or whatever, i could probably get a credit card at a shit load of other companies, and you tell me that I'M the one who should be thankful that i'm actually getting one?! i'm the customer you dumb ass! and he says that the normal turn around rate is 1 month, and that i'm actually receiving it within the time frame. but the problem is, is that i would've have gotten it by now if you guys didn't fuck up or at least kept tabs on my application so that i receive it in a timely fashion. i've basically had to call every week and stay on hold for about an hour every week just to get to the right person and to make sure you guys are getting what i need done.
this is fkn ridiculous. this never would happen in the US, and if it did, they wouldn't be talking back to me on the phone. stupid canadian arrogance >:(
"Our massage therapist is a sane republican (a rare breed these days), and we live in a heavily Republican area. She told us that nearly half her clientele said they hoped Obama would be killed. I'm have no words to express my sadness in response to such sentiments. I place the blame for this squarely on the shoulders of those people who tried to swiftboat him and paint him as being a radical, a terrorist. and a socialist. I pray that sanity is restored to our country and that normally rational people will come to their senses."-cheesegypsy
i'm proud to say that i'm a republican
a sane republican.
today was definitely not one of my best days.
probably one of my worst days :/
it began like 12 am in the morning, when i was coming back from finishing my lab report and literally dropped, bumped into, crashed, slipped, clunked and thumped into about everything possible before going to bed. thank god my roomie was sleeping deeply :/
and then i accidentally spill a whole bunch of yeast glucose mixture in my lab and end up breaking off the top of a glass pipette with my hand :(
add that to the fact that i lost my mcgill id card, and had to borrow my azn friend's to get on the downtown shuttle,
left my wallet on my bed because i was so distraught over losing it and ended up looking everywhere in my room for it, even underneath my bed where the dustbunnies live.
to top that off, today was the biggest sale i've seen since i've come here, almost every single store had sales, like huge sales. h&m had half off fall coats, discounts everywhere, urban outfitters had a crazy sale where most things were around $10, and the best one (bad for me :() was at buffalo, where the entire store was 40% off, including the new merchandise. because i left my wallet at home i couldn't buy a single thing :(
and even better, i left my bus pass in my wallet to, so i had to buy an unnecessary ticket to get back home.
fk.
i feel as if i am losing my ability to speak and write english as well and proficiently as i did before i came here.
when i was on the phone with my sister, i said some retarded phrase that made no sense.
when i went to write my bio report, i had to catch myself from writing stupid lame and elementary school sentences.
when i speak to other people its the same kinda thing.
ugh.
maybe its the fact that i haven't read a single piece of good literature since i came here because i've had no time.
or the fact that i'm surrounded by a bunch of people who speak english as a second or third language
or the fact that most people speak quebecois
or the fact that i just haven't really written anything to turn in since i got out of high school
or the fact that i can't take a single social studies class here because my major doesn't allow me to and the campus doesn't even offer it
or the fact that maybe i'm just turning stupid.
i've been feeling stupid lately.
the fact that i told my physics prof that the test had the hardest problems on it from homework and she said how it was "the easier problems that were very straightforward"
or the fact that my dumb blondeness is finally rearing its ugly head
or the fact that i feel like i'm ill prepared for about half of my midterms
or the fact that i feel like i'm losing my ability to write well and speak well
ugh, my head and my self esteem :(
you know what else?
i haven't been able to do a single thing i set out to do when i came here.
i haven't been able to join the fencing team
i haven't been able to get on the mcgill radio station
i haven't been able to join the kendo team
i haven't been able to take a foreign language class
or an english class
or any classes that allow me to explore other areas of study.
i've just finished reading over some of the past few months' blog entries
and i think i am a total sap. i guess its not bad, its who i am, i guess i'm just sappy by nature. but i haven't been able to feel that sappy lately. and it shows in my blogs to. most of my blogs lately have been complaints or commentary. a few on anger and maybe one on positive feelings. maybe i'm hardening into a cold emotionless piece of rock?
it seems like most of the blogs i've written up until now since i've arrived are ways for me to release stress, versus the ones before when i was in high school or in the summer were written solely to express feelings in their fullest form. sounds kind of the same, but they're completely different. in a way i feel like i'm losing a part of myself. the part that could say anything i felt or wanted to get out in a way that made people feel what i felt. i feel like my creative juices are running out, draining out of my body, drop by drop into the mass of math and science that i have to do day in and day out. the only opportunity for me to use my creativity in my major is when i get down to designing mechanisms and systems and actually build them so that they work. but thats a completely different kind of creativity, its a creativty that is bound by the constraints of the system, the order, the boss, the budget, the rules, by reality. creativity that is used to write or to create music or to paint a picture, is a gushing brightly colored fountain, that can shoot as high as the sky, enough to flood the earth, boundless.
ugh again.
even writing this makes me feel inadequate because of how much it sounds like some junior high school student wrote it :/
so yes, outcome inevitable, landslide by obama.
as i watched him speak on cnn, he's really a great speaker, i was witnessing a historical moment in united states history.
i really don't have an idea how america is going to do under obama, but all i know is that its going to change dramatically, because the people want it and obama is probably going to do it.
so, for better or for worse, obama is who we've got now to lift america out of its economic crisis, environmental problems and international dilemnas.
i just hope that obama stays alive long enough to make those changes happen.
i'm really surprised at how much everyone up here is into the us elections. it feels like i'm kinda in the US.
this one guy i know smuggled a whole roll of "Obama/Biden" stickers and started passing them out.
everyone is talking about it, even at least one of my profs.
and my german friends are planning a "election party" for tonight. where we'll all get together in the tv room, and watch the election proceedings while eating.
yes i am in a very small minority right now. well i think i might be the only person, but personally, i don't think either candidate will really be able to do enough to fix the problems the US is in, so for me, whether or not obama wins or mccain wins, its a toss up, and we'll just have to wait and see what happens.
wow.
i mean seriously, how stupid can you get?
i know i've been up here this whole time during all the political campaigning and hubbub in the united states, so i really don't have too much knowledge on whats going on right now, but come on sarah palin. not even knowing that you didn't really star in a documentary called Hustlers Nailin Palin? wow, you've got to be kidding me. not ragging on the republicans, but this definitely does not bode well for Campaign McCain.
ironically, it was by some comedians here in Montreal :/
its funny how the past presidential elections for Canada (a couple of weeks ago) mainly relied on American politics, American economy and American relations.
k, enough of that.
fk virgin mobile
fk canadian cellphone companies
fk the fact that my phone was out of service when the credit card called me just for some info verification on TUESDAY! and that they turned down my application because i didn't call back, and that my application has been sitting there on someones desk for the past 4 days when it could've been in transit to ME! so that i could get a NEW PHONE with a BETTER COMPANY! and finally be able to COMMUNICATE WITH THE WORLD!
ok, its not that bad without a cellphone for a week, but oh the irony >:(
now i have to go to my branch, sign some document, get it faxed over to lending, and then wait another 3-5 FKN business days for my credit card to come.
f this.
f this to the ground. :(
